If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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