You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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