Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
