I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
