I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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