fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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