New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
