i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
This baby is an asshole
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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