I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
