Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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