I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Just invented taco cereal.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
