I think my vagina is haunted
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
