I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
