kristin has been a bad kristin
home. puking in laundry basket.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
