I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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