i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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