you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
