I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
