My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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