You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
