he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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