No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
They have beer where we have blood.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
