Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Me too!
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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