ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
