omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
