i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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