Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
