Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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