Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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