i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
