Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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