I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Buhtt sex?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
