dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
