she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
