I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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