they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
