haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
