Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
