my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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