Don't make out with my wife yet
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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