We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
