so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
