i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
