I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
