I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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