I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
