There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I understand Curling. That high.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
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