Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize