I must be too annoying 4 u.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
