we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
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Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
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I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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