Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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