i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
how does that bad decision feel?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
