I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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