I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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