"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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