By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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