I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
only you would photoshop your dick
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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