3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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