If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
My bed smells like the plague
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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